Thursday, October 10, 2013

Lift My Life Up

So...yesterday was pretty awful...I've had a nasty cough for a long time and everything hurts because I'm coughing so hard~my head, my throat, my chest, my ribs, etc. lol Then Priscilla (my car) decided to act up...again. It's like she knows that she's paid off in two more months. So while we are waiting for an appointment at the garage later this week for the oil leak, we are carefully driving her only back and forth to Tim's bus stop.

So after a super busy day at work, and a lot of running around, a new "shortcut" on the way home...(said road being closed literally feet before my turn which I could see), I was in the middle of making dinner when Tim called and said that Priscilla wouldn't start and he was stranded in Oakmont.  So with dinner on the counter and me still in my work clothes, I ran out the door to pick him up. A neighbor near where he was parked was kind enough to give him a jump and Priscilla was just starting as I pulled up behind him. It was now 25 minutes until we were supposed to be at Awana, we didn't have our uniforms, dinner was sitting out on the counter, and we couldn't turn my car off for fear of getting stranded again. I was pretty annoyed. It was more important for Tim to be at Awana on time because he teaches, so he took his car (Philippe) and I took Priscilla. I went to Advanced Auto and for the next almost hour, the guy tested my car and tried stuff while I kept calling my Dad, relaying what was going on, and asking what I should do.

When I finally left the store, $110 poorer, and headed to Awana, with no uniform and no dinner...I was trying really hard to think of the blessings of the day...

  • Work went fairly well.
  • The car problem was only a battery which could've been worse and more expensive.
  • The store employee was so incredibly kind and went above and beyond normal customer service.
  • We didn't have to have the car towed.
  • I was able to use my Dad's discount on the battery which saved me like $40.
  • When the guy checked my oil (since we were waiting haha) it was full (meaning the leak wasn't getting worse).
  • In the grand scheme of life..today really isn't the end of the world...ya, these new car issues are unexpected bills, but praise the Lord we have the money for the problems because God has blessed us with great jobs and the opportunity to be saving money.
To be honest, I was still having a hard time though. I kept thinking about the many verses that say to praise God no matter the circumstances, and I truly was trying to do this, but I was  struggling, and in that moment I felt like my sickness, broken car, and being late and hungry, we're just too much! I had the radio turned down pretty low and then I heard it...faintly...the first few notes....a newish song that I've claimed as my own! It's called "Lift My Life Up" by Unspoken. I LOVE this song. I get convicted every time I hear it...and while I don't typically get very carried away with worship (I'm more of a heart worshipper than a physical worshipper lol), this song is so powerful! The lyrics are:

You brought me this far
So why would I question you now
You have provided 
So why would I start to doubt
I've never been stranded
Abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I'm giving you control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

If peace is a river
Then let it sweep over me
If I'm under fire
I know it's refining me
When I hear you calling out
I follow now wherever the road may go
I know you're leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for you
Take my life and let it be all for you

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way with me
Have your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for you

Now, if you just read the first line and skipped the rest. Stop. Go back. Read through this prayer, and ask God if this is your heart attitude. To be honest...I want this to be my prayer, but many times it is not. So...I'm driving down the road, crying and worshiping, probably looking like a mental case haha, and I was so overwhelmed with the hug that I felt from God. It never ceases to amaze me when the song I need comes on right at the perfect moment. I know this is a long post, but please bear with me...I had a serious "God moment" and I just really can't contain it!

You brought me this far so why would I question you now? You have provided  so why would I start to doubt? I've never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone.  Sometimes I panic because I foolishly think God is going to stop providing...He's not. :)

 So I'm giving you control. This is a daily struggle for me. I give God control and then I snatch it back.

I lift my life, lift my life up; I give it all in surrender. I lift my heart, lift my heart up; you can have it forever. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in your hands. I lift my life, lift my life up; Have your way in me. I want this to be my prayer to God. If my giving up my life for him includes negative times (like car troubles)  doesn't He know that? No, it's not "my plans" but His ways are sooo much better than ours. I was driving down the road and praying "God, please take my plans, and what I want, even in the little day to day things, and do what YOU want. (And help my bad attitude that is inevitable with my sinful heart :/.)

If I'm under fire, I know it's refining me.  I don't know why we are having these car problems the last month or so...and it's pretty annoying. I feel like we are trying with our whole hearts to serve and follow God's directions, and I feel like, "God, why are you punishing us for seeking you and serving you?" We are doing all that we know to do. And then I get slapped  in the face with: 


For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. Isaiah 55:8


We think we are soooo smart; we're not. lol These car issues are a small "circumstance fire" in our life right now, but God has not forsaken us, or even forgot to watch us for a few minutes, and He has a reason (that right now only He knows! :)). 

As I was driving, I felt like God was asking me, "Will you offer your life up and let me control things? Aren't you tired?" Last night was way bigger than a car battery....He's not looking for a submissive and patient spirit in this one circumstance....He's looking for me to give up my will all the time and to throw myself 100% into what He has planned for my life, whether I understand the details or not.

"Jesus, take my life and let it be all for you." 


So this is my prayer, offered to my Jesus with uplifted hands of praise and an open heart, desperately seeking His way.


Listen to this powerful prayer: Lift My Life Up-Music Video With Lyrics




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